Cinbahh, I appreciate the encouragement. This has been a season of difficult truths. There may come a time when God calls me to move on from my wife, from my church. Until then, I am feeling led/called to do absolutely everything I can to reveal false doctrine, to extend grace for my wife. Like some of the messages from the LORD in the OT, I feel that– since He has shown it to me, the blood of those led astray by this false doctrine is on my hands until I lay it bare. Similarly, I do not believe my wife is saved, as she is pathologically unwilling to repent. While there is still anything I can do, I will.

Several wise people would like to sit down with me and the church leaders who have failed our reconciliation effort so badly. Lord-willing, this will happen soon. Plans are being made with one of them.

God knows all of our names, but if it means anything to you to pray by name, the church is Refresh Community Church in St Louis, MO. Tony(Taron) is my former mentor, the elder who failed so poorly. Carlos is our lead pastor, and Amy runs a counseling program through our church. Those 3 formed a “care team” and met one single time with us. They started an email chain that they essentially don’t answer at all. It is maddening. They inadvertently enable her abuse, doing what they believed was helpful.

They abandoned the process when I pleaded for help with her abuse, with rebuking her sin. My church treats trying to rebuke the sin of others as an unforgivable sin, not a Biblical mandate from Christ with no exceptions. This has happened multiple times with other brothers. I have been told not to look at others’ sin, to look at myself and leave everyone else’s walk up to God. The “care team” told me I was putting unnecessary conditions and ultimatums on the reconciliation process. This was when her slander campaign hit overdrive. I may have said this, but I am a pariah among many in our church. Most of our mutual friends won’t even look at me, much less talk to me. The few that have are praying over how to rebuke her, but doing nothing.

Jason, Kevin, and John are the wise brothers that hope to help bridge Tony’s massive understanding gaps, though I am feeling led towards just the first two and myself. I am Aaron. Jeni is my wife.

Please keep praying. I am trusting the LORD, but feeling empty and exhausted🙏